Shots from our wedding ceremony, May 7, 1983. You are invited to vicariously attend our wedding, lo these many years later.
As discussed in my After College, 1980-1983 and Bei Jing-Washington posts, I made my decision to ask Barb to marry me while I was in China for the second time in May 1982. From my perspective, the decision was largely mine to make…I felt like she had been ready and (hopefully) willing for a while and was waiting for me to finally make up my mind. We had been together for more than six years and I think she and her folks were wondering when I’d ever come to my senses. Her perspective is probably different.
While I was in Hong Kong at the end of May, I tracked down the Fisher’s favorite jewelers, the Chu’s in their Kowloon shop. I leaned on their family connections to ask for a special deal on an engagement and wedding ring set. I sat down with Helen Chu, selected a diamond and together we designed Barb’s engagement ring. I selected a very simple wedding band to match, something I figured I would wear. They turned the design into a final rings within a couple of days, God bless them. I was very pleased with the result. I squirreled away the packet of rings in my luggage and hoped I wouldn’t get caught by U.S. customs as I smuggled them back into the States, though I’m not sure I would have had to pay anything in customs charges. I needn’t have worried as my bags were not checked, despite my several months wandering around Asia. I didn’t look like much of a smuggler, I guess.
I proposed at our favorite little French restaurant, L’Alouette, in Arlington, possibly in July though I don’t know the exact date. We shared a bottle of champagne, which meant I drank almost all of it, and I still have the cork as a memento even if I have few actual memories.
We shared the news with our families along with a loose timetable of a May or June 1983 wedding. Louise swung into action and started working on the details with input from Barb and some from me. I don’t remember being very involved in the planning but was happy it all seemed to be in good hands.
Louise tracked down a church that might be appropriate, the Immanuel United Methodist Church in Annandale (it appears that now it is the New Light United Methodist Church serving the Korean community). Neither Barb nor I had set foot in a church in years so it was a bit of a challenge, but the pastor there, James Hennings, was willing to have us as long as we agreed to come in for some pre-marital counseling sessions with him. I think we might have sat through a couple of Sunday services along the way to make a show of being parishioners, but I can’t swear to it. Sorry, God.
The church, Immanuel United Methodist, in Annandale. They were nice to let us in.
The counseling sessions entailed some basic advice on being good to one another and I like to think, 30+ years on, that we passed the test. We also eventually discussed details of the wedding ceremony and the minister insisted we select a passage from the Bible to be read. I spent a few evenings scanning through a Bible and found that it did not burn. We settled on a couple of passages that Fen Babcock would read because he had the best voice of anyone we knew, other than Fred.
Louise and Barb took care of the details of wedding invitations, rehearsal dinner, ceremony and reception plans. There were a ton of details and I avoided most of them. It was their show and I was happy to be along for the ride. It was easy to decide on the wedding party, with Betsy as Maid of Honor and Joe as Best Man. We avoided having bridesmaids and groomsmen, partly because I didn’t have enough friends to balance off any number of bridesmaids Barb might have chosen. Maggie was our Flower Girl, and as ushers we tapped my former roommate and Fisher family friend from Dusseldorf, Bill Englehart, and my colleague from Bei Jing-Washington, Ray Carey.
Barb and I had fun making selections for our wedding registry. Barb went about shopping for a wedding dress and ended up making an excellent selection. I don’t recall how I came to choose the grey morning suit for myself, Fred and Joe; I’m sure at the time I was rebelling against the notion of wearing an actual tuxedo, but in retrospect I wish I’d gone with a basic black penguin suit.
You are invited to vicariously attend our wedding, lo these many years later.
There is a separate album and post with our official, professional wedding pictures, but here are some other photos from the day.
The program, calligraphed by Betsy! 
More of the program, including the Lord’s Prayer for those of us that haven’t memorized it.
Arriving at the church, with candlesticks! We brought a few of our own decorations to gussy things up. 
Mother of the groom 
Getting ready
Music provided by the Von Brinsko family and friends: Celia, Margaret, Martha, Tim, Michelle and Sally 
Louise with Fred’s Mom, Helen, Barb’s middle namesake and Gramma 
Maggie, the Flower Girl 
Here comes the Bride! 
Bride and Dad. With Judy Potter (no Pardner), Julie Kestenbaum and her Dad, Marty.
The ceremony, with Maggie, Betsy and Joe
The reading by Uncle Fen…well, not *by* him. 
The newlyweds, Mr. Duncan and Ms. Fisher. 
The royal couple
The wedding itself was and is a blur to me. I don’t remember any special details. My job was to stand where people told me to and say what they told me to say. It all seemed to go well, as far as I could tell. I was very happy but also in a fog.
Wedding accomplished, we zipped through the formal photos as quickly as we could then hightailed it over to the reception to continue the festivities and make sure we were first in line for the buffet. That was the true priority of the day for Barb and me.
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