1995 was the year Barb became pregnant, giving birth to Allie on October 5. We stopped making albums this year, so the photos and storyline from here onward are from various collections, boxes and memories.
Barb will no doubt remember more of the specifics of Allie’s birth than I do. I can’t explain why, but it’s mostly a blur to me now…probably it was then, too. I’m even confused about whether Barb was induced into labor or not (I think so). I don’t recall a mad rush to the hospital, it seems like it was more of a scheduled drive up to GBMC (the Greater Baltimore Medical Center, where Barb’s OBGYN worked and which had a good reputation) at a reasonably early hour on Thursday, October 5, 1995. Barb was in labor for a number of hours which was obviously no fun for her. I did what little I could to help comfort her and be the breathing coach that we learned at Lamaze.
Around 11:30am or so, I think they decided to give Barb additional drugs to relieve the pain. I was told it would be a while longer so I went down to the cafe to hunt down a bagel or something for a snack. By the time I returned they were getting ready to wheel Barb into the delivery room. I made it back just in time and have had to live with the onus of being “bagel boy” ever since. Well deserved, I guess.
In the delivery room, I was equally useless, staying up near Barb’s head trying to be encouraging and mainly hoping nothing would go wrong. At 1:15pm, Allie was properly brought into the world. I snapped some pictures, trying not to be too intrusive. We have additional shots, but we’ll spare you here.
Once Allie was born there was a flurry of activity from the nurses and staff as she was cleaned off, weighed, measured, foot printed, capped and swaddled. Here’s the official announcement with details: birth at 1:15pm, 6 pounds and 1 ounce, 19 inches long.
Within a few minutes, Allie was presented to Mom for a first cuddle. It didn’t last all that long, but it was mighty special. Later in the hospital room, after a rest for Mom and baby, they brought Allie in for a first lesson in feeding the girl with a syringe.
I also got a lesson a lesson in feeding and my first good chance to hold Allie. I was rewarded with a suck on my pinkie. True bonding.
After just one night (or two?) at the hospital with nurses who knew what they were doing, the doctors deemed Barb fit enough to go home, so we were rather unceremoniously hustled out of GBMC and sent home. We drove Allie back for her first ride in a carseat, made it home safely, and then began to wonder what we’d got ourselves into.
Before we left the hospital, they informed us that Allie had a case of jaundice. This was considered not that unusual given that Barb had gestational diabetes, but it was still very disconcerting to learn that she was anything other than perfect. As soon as we got home, we got a call from a nurse who would come over to deliver a contraption that included a UV light belt connected by hose to a base unit with a fan to keep the whole thing cool. We were supposed to keep the light on her quite a lot, especially through the night.
Because Barb couldn’t go up and down stairs very well, we all slept on the pull-out sofa in our family room for the first few days. “Slept” is not quite the right word, however. The UV belt was clearly uncomfortable for Allie and she had a very hard time sleeping. The hose and base contraption meant we had a radius of about four feet in which to maneuver her. I remember trying to sing her songs to try to quiet her, but the best I could come up with from memory were “76 Trombones” from the Music Man and snippets from various “Oklahoma” tunes.
I vividly remember feeling utterly helpless in the middle of the night holding this crying baby with a radioactive glowing blue light and uncomfortable belt torturing her. It didn’t seem fair for her and I wept for being so incompetent and unprepared, bringing a baby into the world to suffer. I was disconsolate, but at least Barb was getting a little sleep and later would return the favor so I could.
Somehow, we made it through those first several days. The UV nurse visited daily, as I recall, and talked us off the ledge each time. The jaundice relented after a few days and it seemed our daughter would be healthy after all. After maybe a week we were rid of the despised UV lamp and could move upstairs to our own bedroom. Things slowly started to edge into a new equilibrium as we all got used to each other. But there was still an awful lot to learn and it became clear we were going to do it mainly by trial and error. That was the beginning of our lesson that fortunately babies are remarkably resilient.
Betsy, Sara and Kristen came to our house to visit with Allie on October 9. It was great to get some visitors.
Soon followed by others.
We started to come to better terms with each other. Allie was truly a good baby, and we became completely engrossed in her every movement…and grateful for every nap.
I was amazed how quickly the instinct for greater love for your own child took hold. I had never found (and still don’t find) other people’s babies very appealing. Even with my own nieces, I was only too happy they were someone else’s to take care of. But my heart opened up quickly for Allie and both Barb and I soon found everything she did enthralling. Every day was like a new discovery as she opened her eyes, started to focus on things, began to smile, discovered her fingers and toes, and on and on. Our world happily collapsed to revolve around her.
Even Allie’s occasional crying bout was mostly a race to figure out if she was hungry, sleepy or had a dirty diaper — those were about her only real options. All of us were moderately sleep-deprived in those first weeks and months, but each of us slowly got better at distinguishing one another’s needs.
I think I took two weeks off to be at home after Allie’s birth, then I started back to work. Barb continued to deal with Allie 24×7, whether I was there or not. Even more than me, Barb took to parenthood very quickly and all of a sudden seemed to know all sorts of things that I didn’t. I tried sharing the load as best as I could while I was around.
We found that few things were better for a midday nap than hanging out at home in the bouncy seat.
Maddie and the Harders came to visit.
More visitors!
A little private time.
A little Mom time.
A little more Dad time.
Bath time, a ritual done originally in our bathroom sink in our room, but before long we graduated to the blue tub in the kitchen sink. Always a fine, if somewhat disorienting, time.
Sometime in the fall there was a pig roast with Patti and Lee at their Shenandoah Valley place. Is it possible I went down there alone? Is it possible we brought Barb and Allie and didn’t take any pictures of them? Is it possible Barb took the picture of me…yes, that’s probably it.
Soon enough (less than a month!), it was Halloween!! We went down to Joe and Betsy’s to hang out with Kristen and Sara. Kristen was only four months older than Allie but already seemed so much bigger and more active…and already very Kristen.
Aunt Leona and Uncle Larry came from Arizona to meet their new great-nieces. Leona stayed with us for a while and spoiled us with some nice home-cooked meals. I was back at work by then and it was great to come home to a warm-smelling kitchen. Barb greatly enjoyed having an extra set of helping hands around the house. None of us knew what to do with Larry, though.
We took the girls, with Aunt Leona and Uncle Larry, to see Nanny at Arlington Cemetery in November just after Halloween.
A week later, on November 6, the Aunties organized a Man Yue for Allie at Auntie Jessie’s.
Some of the Man Yue goodies: the pig painting, representing Allie’s year of birth, and the red banner (slightly water damaged) signed by all the guests.
Getting a rest after the Man Yue.
The girls got some time to hang out together…not sure of the date but it looks like our place.
My Mom and Dad came up from Florida, and Laurie came down from Philadelphia for Thanksgiving on November 23.
We went down to Virginia to celebrate Kristen’s christening on Saturday, November 25.
I think Mom stayed with us for another week or so to help out. Again, it was very nice to come home to a cooked dinner and have an extra set of hands. I think Dad had the good sense to go back home to Rivera Beach.
Maddie was also Christened at around the same time at a church in Baltimore.
Our happy bunny (or is it a bear?) baby.
Sometime between the first government shutdown in November and the second in mid-December, Barb showed off Allie at her office.
A few random shots from November or so.
Barb and Allie attended a Christmas party with Barb’s work buddies at Darrell’s house. This was during the second, longer government shutdown, so when people weren’t talking about kids they were talking about never going back to work!
Catching some zzz’s (or not) amid all the festivities.
Time to visit Santa.
The same day we took Allie to Sears for her first official portrait at Sears. We maybe were a little ambitious with her ability to sit up on her own.
The Harders came over to our house so Allie and Maddie could compare notes on Christmas.
Stewart Kurlander also came over to say hi to Allie, maybe the same day.
Getting ready for Christmas at the Embreys.
Christmas Eve at Auntie Jessie’s…time to show the babies to the Aunties.
Laurie and Maggie visited around Christmas, maybe it was even for Christmas Day.
Barb special-ordered a rocking chair with Allie’s name on it. It was very cute (and we still have it!), even if sitting up was not quite an acquired skill for Allie at this point.
Getting the last word in for Christmas, Fran sent Allie a nice needlepoint announcement, and signed the back to make sure we knew that she stitched it herself…so she says.
We paid a visit to Ann and Harry Walters in Virginia on Boxing Day on the way to Patti’s.
Our first Christmas letter.
Betsy and Joe’s letter, for completeness. We eventually taught Betsy how to spell Allie.
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